A Blow

I regretfully was NOT successful in my bid for my first ArtsNL grant.

I am saddened by the decision of ArtsNL but I can’t imagine their job is an easy one. Given the times and the economic uncertainty, I would imagine there were a larger than normal number of applicants and I know there are limited funds to be availed of.

I congratulate those that were successful, I hope the work produced brings them joy and I cannot wait to see what they produce. Art is always a joy to see produced, it doesn’t matter if you agree with the aesthetic, or the message, or even the final product, the ACT of producing is the most beautiful thing in the world. To have a group of your peers tell you that what you want to do is worth the investment, that’s such a confidence boost.

I don’t agree with the decision. I believe firmly that my project, the subsequent shows and books, along with the associated art and educational value produced is 100% worthwhile of funding. If I didn’t 100% believe in it I would never have applied. I think the small amount I was applying for was reasonable and I know it would have made the project a little easier to produce.

I know the work has value, I would never have been award the Residency in Twillingate if it didn’t.

The project will still happen. I just need to narrow the scope of where I go and how I operate is all.

I’m just emotionally shook a little, well, no, not going to lie, shook A LOT by this outcome.

It would have given me another layer of legitimacy more than anything else, though the 5k I applied for was and is critical to my success, it would have been more of a boost to my belief that I am legitimately an artist and my work has merit. Look I know folks are going to say the work is legitimate, that I am doing good and valuable work.

I agree, I know this, BUT at the same time it would have been nice if a panel of my peers felt the same way.

I’ve been through the wringer in the past couple of years, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. It has made me a better person, but I am am admittedly still am little frayed around the edges.

Stings a little it all.

This is the second kind of rebuttal of the work I am hoping to produce. The Kickstarter, while generating a ton of interest amongst folks who know me, didn’t succeed and now the loss of the 5k grant. Its tough.

I’m not going to wallow in self pity, there is no room for that.

I have had FAR more positive things happen to me regarding my craft than negative. Successful calendar sales, good sales of my work online, a gallery in Milton, THE massively important awarding the of the Residency in Twillingate, the interaction with people around the globe…. its been a great success and redemption story and I am taking those successes and running with them.

I am being forced to make a couple of difficult decisions however.

I am NOT renewing the Oldbones Website, its a cost that I cannot afford at this point. I am going to keep this site going, and of course my shop is hosted by the fine folks at NL Canvas so that remains unchanged. I will maintain the domain, but I cannot afford to keep the premium site.

I have to reduce my travel plans, so the focus will be on the Twillingate area, and then the Eastport and Bonavista Peninsulas.

I was going to be purchasing a desktop to make it easier to edit and produce videos as my Surface cannot run the video processing, particularly image stabilization processes. I will continue to produce more basic, but still effective, video on my surface using the software I have been.

I will look at producing an e-book of Where Once We Stood, rather than a printed copy, or see the cost of limited pre-booked runs.

I will make this work, this will work.

I just need to sell 1000 calendars lol….

Thanks to all that continue to believe in me and what I do. I truly appreciate the support and the encouragement. I hope my work continues to bring some light into your day and I look forward to sharing my future work with you all.

“Keep Going

Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart